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Archive for the ‘Then and now’ Category

Like everyone, I’ve eaten too much, drunk too much and had a lovely time. I was having way too much fun and am now running late but as they say, better late than never…I hope  you all had a WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS and will have a safe, happy and prosperous NEW YEAR in which all your dreams come true.

I’m heading to Perth tomorrow to catch up with the rest of my family and friends before the big move to UK so it’ll be more food, more drinks and probably more nightmares regarding packing. I’ll keep you posted.

Hohoho……

I can hardly believe I’ve been back in Australia six months. When did that happen? I still remember how I felt during my last week in Bangkok – the last stop of my 12month IWOM adventure.

It was horrible. I knew everyone expected me to feel excited to be returning “home” and about to see all my family and friends again but I didn’t want to go. Why? Because it felt like life as I’d come to know and love it, was ending.

Dinner in Bangkok

I know they say that with endings come new beginnings but that wasn’t how I felt at the time. The other day I read something I’d written the night before my flight to Australia that sums things up quite well;

At the thought of heading back to Australia my mind goes blank. I was feeling, I guess, a kind of denial two weeks ago, denial that all this time has passed and now I’m expected to go back and act like nothing’s happened.

Now I feel nothing and think nothing – seems I’ve finally found a way to clear my mind. Perhaps I’ll even be able to meditate now, if I think of going back – wards.

Kind of depressing I know but hey, I’d just spent almost 18 months in total, going wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted and living exactly as I like to – on my own time. I always say I have no rules and that was a time when it was absolutely true.

Heading back to Australia felt like going backwards. I knew that no matter what I’d seen and done, everyone there would be the same, doing the same things and expecting me to fit back into those lives. I also knew I planned to work for a while. Well, I had to so I made it my plan; and I knew that would place me back into the day-to-day I so wanted to avoid, faster than anything else could.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Australia and the outdoor lifestyle, I love my family and my friends, I just didn’t ever love the day-to-day grind we fall into or the fact that people worry about the little things and forget to make time to have a bit of fun, to live in the moment – dare I say, noone knows when it may be the last.

By the way, I felt guilty too. Guilty toward all the people I knew were in Australia looking forward to my return. I did want to spend time with them, I just wanted them to come to me in a different location so I could share some of my excitement and experiences with them. Selfish? Maybe, but it was with good intent.

Sad face-leaving Bangkok

Well, as I said about endings…new beginnings. I put myself on the plane and arrived in Australia with my mind set on what I was doing next. I don’t tend to think in terms of “I might do…,” I tend to think and say out loud, “I’m doing …” That often prompts people to suggest I may be disappointed if things don’t turn out but I laugh at the thought because the way I see it, if I’ve said it, I’ll do it.

I guess my thoughts on being positive are another story for me to tell but let’s just say I think Pollyanna had the right idea in finding a positive side to everything.

So, my new beginning? It’s underway and almost on schedule – my schedule so actually yes, it’s on schedule. I stepped off the plane and said I was staying to work a few months, catch up with everyone then return to the UK by Christmas.

Enjoying the Aussie lifestyle

It took a few weeks longer to find temp work and the rates aren’t as good as they once were (apparently due to the global financial crisis) so I won’t be in the UK for Christmas. The Pollyanna side to that is, I’ll now spend Christmas and New Year with family and friends plus maybe miss the worst of the UK winter by returning in February. You see, it is easy to find a bright side.

 FYI: definition of Pollyanna

(source: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Pollyanna )

 Noun – an excessively or blindly optimistic person.

Adjective – Also, Pollyannaish, unreasonably or illogically optimistic: some Pollyanna notions about world peace.

Origin: from the name of the child heroine created by Eleanor Porter (1868-1920), American writer

Growing up in suburban Perth (Western Australia) was great but I always knew I was a gypsy at heart. In my teens I was thrilled when one of my Aunts, probably inspired by my long dark hair and hoop earrings; decided I looked like a gypsy and that there must be some in our family tree.

Needless to say, that’s never been proved and my idea of gypsies was a romanticised movie version – gorgeous dark haired people who danced & sang their way across the world. The idea of such freedom, going wherever you want, whenever you want, without a care, seemed an ideal existence.

Ideal however, is not often aligned with reality so it was probably no surprise to anyone that I didn’t grow up, leave home and roam the world without a care. My reality became an almost predictable cycle of getting a job, getting married, having a child, getting divorced, starting over and trying to work out what I’d like to do “when I grow up.”

I knew I wanted to roam the world and dreamed of seeing all the places I’d ever heard of, seen in a movie or read about. That’s a lot of places – I read a lot and love the movies.

Although it was hard to imagine how I’d able to live that life, I kept telling myself someday I would. In the meantime, I needed to make a living, raise my son and create the lifestyle I wanted for us.

Making faces

My career choices reflected the battle between my creative and practical self with roles as different as being a makeup artist to co-ordinating business improvement projects whereas my personal life always included dancing, singing and performing in amateur theatre. No, my son does none of those – he’s into basketball and skateboarding.

For many years our lives consisted of mad dashes between work, school, rehearsals, sporting matches and anything else we decided to fit in until suddenly, my son was grown up, working and about to leave home. When I said I needed time to get used to the idea of not seeing him every day, he laughed and said I should be thinking of doing the things I said I’d do when he grew up.

Did I mention that my son is not just good at sport but also smart?

Packing my life into boxes

Once again I found myself starting over. This time, knowing my child was independent, I could choose to live my dream. It’s true the hardest part of any decision is the making of it. Once I’d decided, everything fell into place as if it was always meant to be.

That’s how I became an International Woman of Mystery and set off to see the world.

Over 18 months I saw as much as I could of each place I visited including New Zealand, North America, Mexico, Sweden, India, UK and Europe. My ideal gypsy life was now my reality and I could choose every day, to do whatever I felt like.

Such freedom is amazing and makes it almost impossible to fit back into what everyone at home sees as a normal life. Before I left, most people I know talked about my trip or holiday as if it had a finite time but I knew in my heart it was just the beginning and it would be a long time before I’d want to settle anywhere.

My life in boxes

From my perspective, it wasn’t a holiday, it was a lifestyle change. I no longer feel I need to fit anyone’s ideal except my own and that’s freedom in itself. I do believe the only limitations I have are the ones I set myself as I’m the one who makes the choice to do the things I want to do or just think about them.

My choice for now? I’m going to base myself in the UK so I can travel more frequently before deciding where I might like to settle……for a while.